After I saw you in my dream and heard the angel tell me that you are my future wife, walahi, there’s really nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I told you o! I remember that day – August 12 2015. I can never forget that day and the way you looked at me from my head to my shoes, slapped your hands together like you were killing mosquitoes and transferring them from one hand to another, then you pointed your left index finger at me and said, ‘You see on this street ehn? It’s me and you. If you ever use your yellow malnourished eyes to look at me again, the next time you see me in your dreams, it will be a nightmare’. And then you walked away…
Ah. After that evening, I sat down to think. ‘It’s not as if I don’t have anything to do with my life’, I told myself. But I also started thinking about Angels. God only sends angels on serious duties – to announce the birth of Jesus, to deliver answers to prayer, to fight demons. So if God only sends them serious work, and he sent one to me to tell me that you, Yemisi, you’re my wife, then I will take Him seriously.
After thinking of how you pointed at me, I realized that you pointed your left finger, so you must be a leftie. Lanre, my friend, told me that they call people like you ‘Southpaw’. He now suggested that I should make a hoodie and write, ‘Proudly Southpaw’ on the back. Even though I knew that Lanre was just trying to sell his ‘printing words on shirt’ business, I thought it was a good idea. That is the story behind the hoodie I told your sister to give you. And although I heard that it has now become the doormat to your house, I refuse to believe it.
My sister, Esther, does not lie. In fact, when we were younger and maami was alive, she used to say that it was only Esther that did not need to brush her mouth. She would say to the rest of us, ‘Scrub your tongues very well and scrub away all those lies that you tell. Esther go gently on your mouth jare. Your mouth is already pure’. Although she had to deal with some mouth odor problems (see, I’m even telling you my family secrets), Esther still does not lie. So it was a shocking news to me when she told me that in the salon where you were making your beautiful hair, she heard you cursing me, my father and my children. I was very afraid o! I can understand me; I can understand my father; but Yemisi how can your curse your own children?!
I just want you to know that I’ll do anything for you. The love may not be there in your heart now, and you may not be feeling good towards me, but you and me will marry at the end of the day. Angel of God doesn’t lie.
Talk to you later, Southpaw mi.