Dear Choleric

Dear Choleric,

What’s that? You want me to call you ‘sir’? Well that’s not going to happen; at least not in MY own letter to you. 

Note that I am not writing this letter because I’m scared to face you or because you intimidate me or something. I mean, you try, but I’m as tough as any Melancholic could get. 

This letter is just to let you know that your character offends me greatly. You think you’re the boss of everyone and that you’re the only one who knows how things ought to be done, but no! Some of us actually have ideas and thoughts about issues. 

You’re a terrible teammate, I must say. The idea of teamwork, in case you don’t know, is to work TOGETHER as a TEAM, SHARING collective ideas. But you? You assume the role of boss on every team you’re on; even when no one appoints you. 
But how can anyone appoint you as boss? You are not accommodating of failure and you discriminate genuine admittance of ignorance. That is very bad. Haven’t you ever failed in your life? Yes yes, I know your favorite quote ‘I am 99.9% sweat and .1% tissue to wipe the sweat and move on’ 

Blah blah blah. 

And how about your woman – the way you treat her. You’re lucky I am not her, because if I were, not only would I not wash and iron your trousers for you, I’ll also enter into the same trousers as you. You cannot bully me like you bully her. I’ll have you know that although Nigeria came late to the party, we’re in the liberal feminist era and you must also conform to that. 

You’re a fantastic and strategic hardworker and business person. No one doubts that. But walahi, the next time I come to your office and you yell at me? I will let you know that we were both employed on the same day in this company and that I also have a voice. 
Cheers.

Mel. 

****

I laugh everytime I remember that letter. I could never in a million years have given that letter to Chol. He would have tossed it in the bin right there in my front and said some really nasty emotional words. 
Thank God I shredded it. 

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