People would say that I’m foolish but I am not! I don’t know why they just don’t understand me. From what I’ve heard, they think I don’t have a sharp enough mind to process and modify information and instructions. They say that I obey people to the letter and sometimes it’s awkward. I mean, I hear all these things but I don’t hear anyone applauding me for being so obedient.
My take is this: If people want you to do something; they’ll let you know. And if they wanted you to do something different from what they told you to do, they would have communicated it!
Okay, take for instance, while I was preparing for my first ever job interview, my dad was giving me tips and pointers and was trying to do a sort of mock interview for me. I remember him expressly saying, amongst other things, ‘Make sure your hands don’t shake. That’s a sign of fear’
The next day, I went for the interview and when I refused to shake the interviewer after the interview he got sort of angry and told me I was rude and whatnot. The whole thing just made me very confused.
Another work example: we had just finished this seminar on goal setting and tasks management. My boss called me to her office after the seminar and read a bunch of tasks for me to do. Then she ended it by saying, ‘Abayomi, I’ll need you to be smart about it. As smart as the goals that woman made us set’ Then she smiled and continued working. I just stood there thinking and remembering that meaning of ‘smart goals’, ‘I should be S.M.A.R.T? I should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Bound?’
I thought about how I could be some of those attributes; like specific and realistic, but come on! Let’s be realistic here, how can I be time-bound???
I dropped the files on her table right there and apologized, and told her I had to quit the job because I couldn’t quite meet up to her standards.
Another time, when my ex-girlfriend and I had just started dating. We had this emotional evening where she told me about all her past loves and how they eventually cheated on her and she said, ‘Yomi, I want you to only have eyes for me. Can you promise me that?’
‘No’ I said, after thinking on it for a long time.
She sounded confused and surprised when she said, ‘Why? You plan on cheating on me?’
‘No!’ I exclaimed, shocked at her conclusion ‘What has sight got to do with cheating? All I’m saying is that I have already seen the world. My eyes cannot stop seeing other things but you. I mean, how is that even possible? That I see only you. So I won’t even see myself if I look in the mirror?’
For some reason, she broke up with me. I guess girls like boys that lie to them; boys that will break their hearts.
The whole world is just really confusing. Like the bus conductors who keep telling me to ‘Dress’; or my colleague at work who told me that ‘Ah! Abayomi, you fall my hand o!’ while his arms were still nicely attached to his shoulders; or my little niece who won’t play with me again because the first time when we played, she said, ‘Ehehn, uncle Abayomi, let’s say you’re the thief and I’m the police -‘ and immediately, I said ‘You’re thief and I am the police’. Then she said I didn’t have to repeat after her but then said ‘Let’s say…’ again, like 7 times more. I repeated after her every time. She got upset and cried to her mom. I don’t understand. You said ‘Let’s say‘ !
People are too complicated.