A couple of minutes ago, I went on Twitter and found myself typing ‘I miss writing.‘ But it was a really silly thing to tweet so I stopped myself and decided to actually write. Is it obvious that I’m trying more to have less regrets?
Speaking of regrets, sometimes I regret not being bold enough to do bold stuff. Like e.g. just decide that I’m not doing this law thing again; just flip the table in the middle of the day at my law firm and yell something like ‘EAT YOUR TABLES WOODPECKERS!! I’M A FRIGGING EAGLE!
RAH!’ (I’m not quite sure I’ve formed an opinion about using the word ‘rah’).
Speaking of opinions, I’m gradually becoming an “I have an option about this” woman. I know it’s not much of a big deal for most people but it has always been a goal for me, especially on spiritual topics. I mean, I’m writing amateur spoken word, people! Do you know the kind of people that write spoken word??
Speaking of word, the word of God in my life is growing (or rather, I’m growing in the word of God.) and I’m super happy. I joined a new church, and it’s where I’m staying (FINALLY!) (Oh! And there are the skeptics who laugh and say ‘wait till you get married’. Haha! I’m impressed they don’t think I’ll be single forever.) . I’ve really never seen anything like it; my church – that the reason I wake up with a smile on my face every Friday is not TGIF but TGIFD (uh.. It means ‘Thank God It’s Fellowship Day’. Pretty good huh?)
Speaking about pretty, I was feeling very ugly a couple of months ago. My very sensitive skin was reacting to the water in this sham of an Island called Victoria Island. And the pimples were oh-so-painful! Best comfort then was that I was so emotionally drained that I really couldn’t care less about how people were physically assessing me. So, that was one less thing to worry about (Law school tries some black magic with your Vibes. And it tries).
Speaking about black, I think this is my space and I can say what I want without getting hounded so here goes: I DON’T THINK ‘GET OUT’ , THE MOVIE IS SUCH A BIG DEAL AS PEOPLE ARE MAKING IT SEEM’ . It was a good movie, but I wasn’t that impressed. Not sorry.
Speaking about impressions, remember that article I wrote about moving into my room here in Law School and looking over at the water under the bridge with the lights and boat cruises and being inspired to have a beach house? Ah well, I have a motivational speech to give with regard to that:
“Hear hear people, and I will let you in on some wisdom.
A couple of weeks ago I could have sworn that I was in love with the view from my room;
It was serene and romantic,
And I thought I would wake up every morning and just sigh in hopeless admiration.
But yesterday I looked out of my window;
At the red light hitting the surface of the still waters;
The green light feeling like having some Christmas, and joining in;
The yellow light giving them both some touch of happy;
And the blue lights just being royal in the mix.
It was supposed to be beautiful,
I was supposed to slouch my back and soften my eyes; weak from all that beauty.
Someone had come to my room few weeks back and gasped, like I did at first, at the sight,
My sister and I had driven past that bridge and she had said, ‘How beautiful’,
But I sat on my bed and stared hard at the sight;
I felt nothing.
Hear hear people,
Let me tell you as someone who has been both the starer and the stared at:
You must never seek validation of your amazing-ness from men-
(And by men I mean men and women) (although if you think of men solely as male in this context, I am still right, I tell you).
That the one person who saw the best in you, now picks out your flaws like she is picking those fibre things mangoes leave in betwixt your teeth;
That the only person who gasped at the sight of you (good gasp o), now breathes fine when he see you and no longer needs his inhaler no matter how good you look,
That the only person who saw you as art; now breaks your heart (I just had to);
The water under the bridge remains as beautiful as it was when I first saw it
So, it must not because I no longer regard it as such, cry itself a river
My affirmation is not real confirmation of its beauty
Hear hear people”
Dear Lord, have I missed writing! :’)