30 & Utterly Grateful

By You, I have been upheld from birth;

You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb.

My praise shall be continually of You.

Psalm 71:6

My mother had a miscarriage before she had me. I am what they call a rainbow baby. 

It was a really bad miscarriage. The baby was around 4/5months old when my mother woke up and saw that she was slightly bleeding. What started as spotting became something worse, and by the time my mother arrived at the hospital, she was approaching her final hours. As she lay on a bed in the emergency room, before the doctor could arrive to take a look at her, she died. 

She tells me about her vivid experience on the other side of eternity. She could clearly hear the commotion of the nurses after they discovered she was dead. But their tears and screaming progressively meant nothing to her because on the other side, she was excitedly travelling through a literal tunnel and could see a literal bright light at the end of that tunnel. And the closer she approached the light, the more joyful her heart was. There was nothing else that mattered in the world than getting into that light. And no pleasure on earth could compare to what she felt the closer she got to the light. But just before she got there, two angelic beings appeared and simply stretched their hands towards her, and a supernatural force from their stretched hands pushed her back. She woke up on the bed, back in the hospital, to the amazement of the hospital staff. 

My mother got a new lease on life by God’s mercy. Months later, she got pregnant again with me, and in 1995, I was born. But not without another life-threatening drama. And this time, the life that was threatened was mine. 

When the Psalmist says, “You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb”, it feels like a word-for-word rendition of my birth story. I was born in a hospital, but it was God who took me out of my mother’s womb. 

My mother tells the story thus:

“When I was pregnant with you, someone gave me a word that I was going to have a very glorious child. The pregnancy was okay, and there were no issues. In fact, when I went into labour, I drove myself to the hospital. I gave birth to you in the same hospital where I worked as a nurse. And because I was a member of staff, I was able to customise my delivery plan down to ‘who’ was going to take your delivery. 

Now, some context: There was a nurse, let’s call her Nurse M, who was older than the rest of us and had less conventional midwifery methods. She would slap and pinch women in labour to “keep them on their toes”. It was her opinion that the journey of nine months must not be wasted by one’s laziness in labour. This was her own way of helping women to be ‘strong’ throughout the delivery process. 

I had tried to explain to her why this method was not the best, but Nurse M was certain that I was too young to know what I was saying. 

So, it went without saying that when it was time for me to deliver you, I absolutely did not want Nurse M anywhere near me. I actually confronted her sternly and said,  “Do not come anywhere near my labour room. I don’t like your style. Stay miles away from me. This is not a joke”

I had chosen a gentler, more friendly colleague – let’s call her Nurse J –  to take your delivery for me. And so far, I was happy with my birthing experience. 

But somehow during the labour, despite my stern and frankly offensive warning, Nurse M would still come by, peep at the door and offer me a word of encouragement, though stiffly, “Pẹlẹ o”, “Mo ni nki ẹ ni o” “Kuuṣẹ o”.  I would also only grunt in response, or sometimes, even ignore her. 

After labouring for hours, I finally fully dilated and was ready to push. Anyone who has delivered vaginally knows that your body naturally pushes out your baby when it’s time. However, for me, it’s typically a lot more forceful. For your two older siblings, I only pushed once, and they were out. When it’s time to push, my body’s mechanism is extremely forceful, and I always can’t control the baby coming out. So when I started to feel that force and noticed that Nurse J was seated away from me, I started to call her name and say, “J, the baby is coming! I’m pushing!”

At this point, I had been positioned at the edge of the bed so that once the baby comes, the nurse could easily stand in front of me to catch her. Nurse J got up, saw your head crowning at the vaginal opening and started trying to wear her gloves. For some reason, she was very slow and was struggling to put on the gloves. (P.S. by the way, if you need to quickly put on latex gloves in an emergency: blow it open to get rid of the stickiness!)

Quickly, I assessed the situation I was in. You were coming out forcefully and there was nothing I could do to stop you from coming. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t close my laps. I couldn’t ‘hold on’. I couldn’t catch you with my hands because of how I was positioned. I assessed the still struggling Nurse J and came to the grim realisation that you were going to hit the ground and either die or sustain some major brain injuries.

But just as you were coming out, guess who showed up at that exact time? Nurse M – the same woman I had warned sternly not to come near my delivery room! Immediately she saw what was happening, she promptly stepped in and caught you just before you could hit the ground. Thus, on the 23rd of July 1995, Adeboro was delivered… and delivered. You cried immediately, and I simultaneously received a dirty slap and pinch from Nurse M. 

For You are my hope, O Lord God; 

You are my trust from my youth.

Psalm 71:5

But God did not stop at delivering me as a baby. I may have celebrated milestone years at 5, 10, 18, 21, 25, and now, 30, but no matter how grown up I get, I have remained God’s baby, and He has continued to deliver me. At the opportune time, He just always comes through for me. 

When I was in secondary school, I was home for the holidays and decided to enrol in summer classes to get ahead of my next class. I was a quiet and shy teenager who just wanted to go to classes and get back home. But the teacher at the summer school took an interest in me and was always so full of applause and compliments for me, for being so intelligent. On the last day of summer lessons, after classes, he asked me to follow him to his house. I knew that this was a suspicious request, but I had never been confrontational. I was dangerously compliant and hated to make anyone mad, so I complied, hoping for the best, yet knowing that the worst was coming. We got into his vehicle and he drove me to his house. After parking, I stepped out of the car and trudged along, heart racing with a knowing that I was walking into a big trap, but lacking the confidence to excuse myself or RUN. He opened the door to his house, and as soon as he stepped into his living room, he froze. Because right there was his wife and children playing in the living room. He was stunned. I don’t know why, but I know they were not supposed to be home. He kept asking her, “Why are you home? How come you are home?” I don’t recall what reply she gave, but in that moment, I almost burst into tears of relief. I knew without a doubt that the same God whose presence had never left me had gone before me to prevent this disaster. 

The teacher had no more use for me, and he asked me to go home 

This is just one example of the many ways God has been my ever-present help in times of trouble. It is one thing to be in trouble and to call upon the Lord. It is yet another to have trouble averted even before you know it. The Bible says, “When a wise person sees danger ahead, he avoids it.” But I am not always wise. Neither do I always see. But God has been my eyes, my ears, and the discernment in my heart. And in times when He has needed to, He, Himself, has yanked me from trouble, 

In my youth, I have enjoyed much more than His preservation. But how can I begin to recount His mercies to me? 

In my career, He has been more passionate about my success than I have been. One minute, He’s sharing a super unbelievable plan He has for me, and the next minute, He’s going ahead of me and just making it happen.

In my relationships, He has blessed me with the best people. Some people talk about how they want ‘their person’, but God didn’t just give me ‘my people’, He gave me His people.

In my health, He has been faithful. He’s miraculously healed me time and again. He miraculously healed me of post-partum high blood pressure. He’s been my healer. 

But in all this, the biggest gift I received from Him in my youth has been the salvation of my soul. Yesterday, I was driving and thinking, “I am so happy and grateful to be a Christian.” Grateful to have been saved from eternal damnation. Grateful for the sacrifice of Jesus. Grateful to not just be a recipient of some miracles from God, but to be a recipient of The Miracle from God – Jesus and His sacrifice. 

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; 

Do not forsake me when my strength fails.

Psalm 71:9

And my prayer as I step into a new decade? 

“God, help me to always remember that you were there even before I took my first breath

Help me not to cast You off in old age

Help me not to forsake You when my strength fails

For I am certain that You will not cast me off 

Neither will You forsake me

Your commitment to me is eternal – it began before my beginning and will endure beyond my expiration on earth

So help me, God 

To give You that same commitment 

Even to the last of my breath”

Amen.

Happy 30th birthday to me!