Hey guys!!! (this is me assuming I still have guys here), I’m back.
First, I may owe an apology to my readers and to those who cheered me on to write every day last year. I was like an athlete who had done so well through the course of the race, and then just at the end, I flopped on the ground and refused to get up. I may have a valid excuse for doing that but I’m not going to give it.
Second, I’m a part of the Nigerian Law School program for the most part of this year and as much as I hate admitting clichés, I have to admit that this place sucks you in and makes you almost forget that there’s a world outside it. It’s surreal.
Hence, I will not promise to write every day of this year (LOL.. not like that’s a possibility anymore); however, I will write as often as I can.
Once again, I am grateful to everyone who has supported me, called me to ask why I stopped writing, called me to guilt trip me (Douglas, my eyes are on you), and to those who simply wondered in silence and made up an excuse for me.
I hope our creativity breaks bounds this year!!
Lately, I have been consumed with thoughts of a woman. It’s the new year and I should at least, start on an exemplary note but my mind won’t let me. I lay in bed, eyes closed deceiving my roommates and thinking of this woman. Sometimes, I am only hearing what is being taught in class, I am not listening. My mind travels to this woman; I think of her – her being, her lifestyle, her dreams, her achievements, and the thoughts of her paralyze me.
I am not a lesbian, and yet I sleep at night, and she’s right there; the woman of my dreams.
This woman that I dream of is amazing. Just like she does to everyone around her, she makes me really happy. There is no bone of unkindness in her and at the same time, she is genuine and true to herself.
The woman I dream of is an amazing creator. Everything she touches turns into something that would turn your head. She is focused and relentless. And I love her for that.
The woman I dream of speaks with a beautiful kind of discretion. Unlike the rest of us, she has somehow managed to refine her thoughts and opinions such that the words that come out of her even spontaneously are constructive and not destructive. She tells me, ‘You must invest in the refinery of your mind. Spend money and time equipping your mind. Be determined that any word that flows from your consciousness or sub-consciousness would be fine and precious’
The woman I dream of forgives and loves unconditionally. She amazes me every time because her heart is light and she constantly refuses to weigh it down with un-forgiveness. There are certain things that I would not tolerate but she tells me, ‘People misunderstand the concept of tolerance. Tolerance is for things that can ordinarily not be tolerated. So it’s out of place to then say that some things cannot be tolerated. Accepted? Yes. But to tolerate is to stretch acceptance’
The woman I dream of is the dream of everyone. Mothers want her to be their daughter; fathers want her to be their son; employers want to hire her; and workers want to be hired by her. Men want to marry her and women want to be her. Children want to be raised by her and teenagers want to be mentored by her. The way she is a blessing is a tangible, measurable and yet immeasurable kind of way.
The woman I dream of is the very woman I want to be; and yet I don’t know how to be. I am not half a woman of the woman I want to be and it breaks my heart in half. But then I’m awakening slowly to realize that the more I focus on who I am while I’m awake, the more I become the person I see in my dreams.
*Image gotten from thegrowingdaily.files.wordpress.com*