One of the greatest mysteries I think exist in life is how people say some things and then mean another. I have never understood it, even since I was just an all-believing child.
It’s funnier because I find that I can hear what people don’t say louder than I can hear what they say. And so it baffles me when I hear words different from what comes out of your mouth.
Take for instance, my father who has never believed in me. He has a way of never saying that he doesn’t believe in me but saying it at the same time. When I wanted to enter the University, I applied to study Medicine and Surgery. He called me to his room and said ‘Ikenna, are you sure you want to do this?’. ‘Yes‘ I replied shocked ‘Yes sir, that’s what I want to do in life‘ I was shocked because I thought it was the dream of every Nigerian parent to have a medical doctor as a child. But then he said, ‘Okay o. I just hope you pass the exams because I’m worried about your mom. If not for anyone, do it for her. I told her not to really put all her confidence in these exams but she says she believes in you. I just hope you don’t disappoint her‘
I wanted to say, ‘Why dad? Why don’t you just say: I just hope you prove me right; prove me right that you don’t deserve your mother’s faith in you’
I did not make the cutoff, anyway.
Take another example of my ex-girlfriend. Hers was so bad that she had used her unspoken words to break up with me months before she actually said the words. It ranged from her saying to me, ‘I can imagine in three years time when we both are done with school. We must so turn up! Even if you have another girlfriend then, wetin concern me?’ To her saying stuff like, ‘I love you, you love me… But if only love could last forever…’
Many people have told me that that’s just the way women talk and that when they talk like that, they really in fact want you to say soothing words to them like, ‘Baby… I don’t understand, do you want to stop yourself from turning up with me on our grad day?‘ Or ‘Sweetheart, forever can’t even begin to quantify how long I will love you’
But no! No… I can’t be saying those things when I know what her words truly mean. SHE DOESN’T SEE A FUTURE WITH ME!!
My mom just walked in and read this. She says I’m crazy.
Mom! You too?! Why can’t you just say what you really want to say; that you love me?!