At Least I Do

We saw today and we talked… for a long time.

I laughed more than half the time and he kept smiling at me.

3:45am this morning, I woke up and saw a mail… from him.

It said;
‘If someone asked me to say what I love the most about you, I would not think twice. I would smile and say ‘Her laughter. I love her laughter the most.’ And I would not be wrong.
But I would get to my room and think about that reply and I would feel guilty because I would think up smarter replies. And the voices in my head would ask me; ‘So you don’t love her when she’s not laughing?’ or they would say, ‘Oh… so, take away her laughter and your love is gone? She doesn’t deserve you’
And I would feel guilty that I did not blow your trumpet as much as you deserve and I did not make an effort to tell people how amazing you really are. But a quiet voice would tell me not to feel guilty. It’ll say, ‘But you feel a thousand indescribable sensations when you hear her laugh. And sometimes, you get dizzy just thinking about her laughter. You really love her laughter’
And then I would agree with that quiet voice. But I would still know, in my subconscious that your laughter (as amazing as it is), is only the beginning of how amazing you are.
So I would lie in my bed and think about a better answer to give.
And I would decide on saying; ‘What I love the most about her? Her. I love her most about her. I love that she makes me feel. When I’m not with her, I’m more or less a robot. But with her, even anger feels good. I love that she does not make me try too hard, but at the same time, she makes me want to try so hard. I love that she raises her brow when she’s impressed and she nods when she disagrees. I love that little birthmark just a little below her left brow. I love that she writes like a chicken but dances like the wind. I love how sometimes; I can never really tell how she feels. But order times, I can see through her. I love how she unconsciously draws circles on the back of my hand when she reads one of her numerous novels. I love her and everything that she is. I love her and everything that she isn’t. I love her most about her.’
And I hope that my inadequate speech would adequately convey how much I love you and how amazing you are.
What do you think?’

Then I typed…
‘:) I honestly don’t know how to give a reply to that. I. Love. You. And, I feel so much more for you… you may never understand. I love you most about you. :)’

Then, I paused and I read over both messages. And in that moment, I was the happiest girl in the world. I closed my eyes and lived in the moment. Enjoying every bit of it.

Then I erased it and I typed,

‘Wiw… you’re so moist. Aside from the fact that you sound like a drooling dog, the note is beautiful. Simply beautiful. You were going a little off at the beginning, but you made up for it almost at the end. You might want to edit it so you’ll sound a little less than an obsessed nutcase. Also, grammatical error: ‘… but order times.’ Change ‘order’ to ‘other’. Aside from that, I think she’ll love it. At least I do. :)’

4:30am I slept… with my pillow soaked.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *