To whom it may or may not concern:

I knew you when we were younger. Five years ago.
I wish I didn’t. So, then I would not know how much you’ve changed.

I knew you when your smile was still wide and free.
Not this forced smile you do now; trying to keep all your teeth in your mouth.

I knew you when you couldn’t raise an eyebrow.
How did you loosen the muscles between your eyebrows?

I knew you when you automatically shone your teeth when I winked at you.
The only time I tried it since you returned, you just winked back.

I knew you when we both shouted (not sang) out Nigerian songs we had burned on CDs.
Now, I spent the only 30minutes we’ve spent together since you came, listening to all sorts of incoherent rap music in your sleek car.

Remember when we’d arm wrestle and you would not be a gentleman and let me win?

Remember that rubbish punishment we gave each other when either of us failed a class test or exam where we would buy suya and then the offender would only get to eat the onions?
Chai… I ate onions so much I thought I was going to have permanent onion-breath.

I still have ‘Care’, the little (now big) cactus plant you gave me when I was feeling suicidal because of my weight.
I still have the note that came with it. It said: ‘This cactus plant believes in you and looks up to you; not only to take care of it, but to take care of yourself. Please do not disappoint us’

Remember when I stopped talking to you because I was inspired by a ‘message’ I heard to stay away from people that are never serious?
I remember that after avoiding you for a week, when I finally explained to you, you laughed so hard that I got angry. And then you said, ‘Ahh! God will so punish you if you take for levity my hustle to make you happy’.

Remember how we promised never to talk about what we told each other when we both pretended to get drunk on Fanta?

Remember when we made a co-bucket list that totally flopped because you were either trying to video it or you were laughing so hard I got infected and we couldn’t go through with it.

Remember the Mogbomoya we attended. Total disaster.

Remember when I spiked your ice-cream with Calypso because I knew you hated anything coconut-ish and I hoped you’d give me the ice-cream but you made sure you finished it while you stared at me right in the eyes and tried not to laugh.

Remember how we told ourselves that we wanted to get creative in life and then someone suggested salsa and waltz classes for us.
You over-stepped on my feet and as if it wasn’t enough, you made me apologize every time.

Remember when we used to do ‘my week of 10 commands’?
I still have one command to use on you.

Remember that Dara’s party we went for and we saw about 10 seemingly happy couples and about 50 sad singles?
Then we decided to make them feel better by staging a fake public break-up.

Remember the time when I fell really ill and didn’t tell you and then you found out from Jane?
You visited me in the clinic and said, ‘You really thought you could pull that off ehn? When you’re sick, there’s no way I’m not feeling it’

I remember when your mom died and we’d go to the cemetery every two days.
I must admit that it felt strange and silly at first but I liked that it became part of our monthly unwritten duty to visit her and report each other to her.

I don’t remember a time in my life… well, my past life, where you were not in the picture.

And it’s sadly hilarious in retrospect that I could not see my future without you in the big picture.

I guess traveling abroad did something I may never understand, to you.

And it feels weird that I feel heartbroken about it because in fact, we were not in any exclusive relationship, and you did not have a commitment or an obligation to keep in touch with me.

We were just two independent individuals who grew into and out of friendship.

From the depth of my heart, I pray that you change back to the person you once were.

But just in case you don’t share the same point of view with me.
I employ my last command and say that you return that smile you once had.

That was the best damn thing I ever set my eyes on.

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