On Jones

Jones Romijaran Ayuwo

Today, I informed my friend that I was going to digress a little and write an article on Jones and she said (Ore, sorry) ‘aww… Imagine if you and Jones get married’ 

Immediately she said it, I said something like ‘That’d be so cute. We’ll just be writing to each other and will overdose on romantic letters’ 

Now, when I made that statement, I’ll have you know that I started to sweat and itch at the thought of ever having to compete with Jones on any platform; even a mutually romantic no-pressure-babe platform.

For those who do not know Jones, you’re jonzing. Jones is a young man of whose fame and fortune I heard when I was but a slight (actually, I was fat) 16 year old girl. They told me he was a ‘very fine boy who could talk any girl into marrying him’ and I had begun strategizing how to never listen to him speak (at that time I was not ready for marriage. Daniel Jayeoba, I am marriage material now irrespective of what you say) 

I met Jones because we both are writers and he knows these wonderful weirdos I call Milo and Adebo.  

Jones is smart: He spins puns like they are mere and easy ‘ba-ba-ba’ of children. He’s the iron that actually sharpeneth the iron; you want to rub minds with him.
Jones is friendly and charismatic: I am Yoruba, so I am little conditioned not to take sides in life. But when Jones ran for the office of President of the Faculty of Law, UNILAG, I was converted. I was like a toy soldier step by stepping and left right lefting till the end of the battle. His friendliness may have been the reason he lost that election, but that’s just unreported unconfirmed rumor. 
Jones is kind: one time I talked to Jones about having suicidal thoughts (which I probably was not having. I may actually have multiple personalities… Which is more dangerous). He showed no surprise but showed no indifference. He was kind in his advice; kind and realistic. 

Jones is a micman: He’s started a public speaking something with another fine speaking gentleman where people who want to communicate with verbal words can come and get trained in the process of showcasing their talent. I’ll tell you that he can only do that because he never disappoints with a mic in his hands. 
Jones is Jones: Eventually, I’ll admit that there’s sides to Jones I cannot possibly know. But Jones has made a good name for himself with his  own name such that I’m almost certain the word ‘Jones’ is a positive word. 
E.g. I successfully completed some work out routine this evening. I’m so happy, I feel so Jones! 

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