She Said What?


Feb 21


If you could un-invent something, what would it be? Discuss why, potential repercussions, or a possible alternative.


How We Met: Gideon

Tundun and I met in the University of Lagos. I was in my third year and she was in her first year. We had both volunteered on a charity project in Ilaje and we automatically bonded. For me, it was admiration at first sight. She was not taking pictures like the rest of the volunteers; she was distributing the items we had brought and was smiling and laughing with the kids and women. One time, she even sat with one of the men and talked with him. Within minutes, he was sobbing like a child. She was like that, she and her beautiful heart of gold. I remember ensuring that I walked with her after the giveaway. We talked as we walked, we talked when we parted and we talked pretty much into dating.


How He Proposed: Gideon

Wow. How I proposed.

Tundun and I dated for 6 years and every year was like new wine. We grew together, loved each other, fought for each other, fought with one another, supported each other, cried with each other… It was amazing! Every time we celebrated a new year together, I felt like I had fallen deeper into this beautiful sleep where I dreamed a fantasy. She was way better than me in everything. She was so forward thinking about everything; it felt like she knew the future before it came. It was as amazing as her being able to predict whether it was going to rain. She would say, ‘It’s simple. Times never fail. Just study the times and they would never fail you’.

We often talked about marriage but not so much – it’s why I thought she was my alpha super lady. While my other male friends would complain to me about their babes breathing marriage down their necks, I would laugh and feel grateful for Tundun. She never disturbed me about marriage or whatever. I felt like she just trusted me and my judgment about stuff. The few times we talked about it, I was the one who brought it up. She’d just smile and say, ‘The future is so bright and attractive baby, but it deflects attention from the present. Let’s just enjoy the now.’ And it sounded so smart to me.

Anyway, on her birthday, I threw a party for her in her favorite dinner place. As the party went on, I fingered the ring in my pocket and anticipated the moment when I’d ask her to finally be my wife. I was not scared… only eager.

The moment finally came for me to ‘give a toast’. I gathered everyone’s attention and winked at her. She winked back. Then I said, ‘I know everyone expects me to give a toast right now because I hit my glass, but I’m way past toasting. All my toasting skills have been used on this woman right here and I don’t think I could, even if I wanted to. But there’s something more than toasting I’d like to do. Tundun *knee hits the ground, female guests gasp*, with you, I have graduated from one stage to another. Let me even start literally, you were there with me when I graduated from the university and after that, you stayed by me through every graduation – from boy to man, from stupid to smart, from naïve to knowledgeable, from brokeass to pretty rich, from smooth chin to beard gang and so on! And now, I want us to graduate from toasting to marrying. Note that I said ‘marrying’, because I want to marry you in the present and continuously – to marry you and to stay married to you! So erm… would you be marrying me?’


She said no. She said no there and then. She did not behave like a normal person and nod fervently and then later call me aside and slap my ring on my face. She looked at me through her beautiful confused eyes and simply said, ‘No Gideon. Why would you… No.’ Right there, in front of all our friends… and the video camera recording the should-have-been awesome moment.

Later on, she would tell me that, ‘I just could not believe that you’d do that to me. I always said that we should just enjoy the present. Asking me to marry you… and in present continuous for that matter just makes it seem like you are not enjoying the present with me and so you’re looking for a future to hope for a better present. And I can’t live with that.’

I was astounded. I did not even understand what she spat out. I said, ‘I want a future with you because I so much love this present that I want to secure it with you.’ But she chose not to listen to that. It’s been 7 months since this unfortunate event happened to me and it’s all I can think about every day.


I just wish I could uninvent that proposal… I wish I just had known to continue living in the present with her (whatever that means). But then deep down, I’m happy it happened. I don’t think I can deal much with anyone who won’t take me seriously on my knees. I mean, I watched the video, I looked too adorable!

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