Why Did You Do It?

In the spirit of studying for my Criminology exam tomorrow, here’s me peeking into some criminal minds. I am asking them (invariably, myself) why they do what they do. 
Enjoy!

1. Pick Pocketing (Charles, 20 years old.)

‘What do you mean “why did you do it?”. What else would I have done? If I approached people and asked them to help me; that I had not eaten for days, they would have looked at me like filth and clutched at their bags tighter. So why make them go through all that when I can just take what I need from their bags or pockets without disturbing them. I don’t think what you really should ask me is ‘why‘, what you should ask is ‘Wow! How?‘
2. Rape (Ojo, 27 years old)

‘When you use the word rape, it makes it seem bad. Whereas this girl in question knew what was coming but she still invited it. I don’t understand. You can’t lead a camel from the desert to the river only to ask it not to drink. Just ask her, she knows!’ 
3. Swindling a.k.a. 419 (Emeka, 25 years old)

‘Ah. I believe that everyone in this life has been given a brain and that’s where God stopped for us. If you cannot use your brain to think then, another must use that brain to his own advantage. I do 419 proudly because it is a job that rewards your wisdom and carefulness. Plus, why would I want to collect small cash from one useless Oga, when someone who doesn’t even know me is willing to deposit millions of dollars in my account for empty promises? Ask the Mugu why he is greedy; that’s a better question’ 
4. Prostituion (Rose, 28 years old)

‘Why people still call prostituion a crime is beyond me. This is why Nigeria can never grow; because the people are not thinking international. See abroad; they allow prostituion in most of these big countries because they know that it is a service that is required. Would you stop mama put from selling food? Would you close down pure water factories? Ehehn? Abeg carry your mic comot from my front; no spoil market for me!’
5. Child Trafficking (Ayo, 40 years old) 

‘I could lie to you and tell you that the children we take, we take because they are better off away from their non-observant parents or from the abject poverty that is their reality. But that’s a lie. Child trafficking is a job for the one who has sold his soul to the devil for a piece of rusted nail, because the soul was so dead in the first place it was worth nothing to the devil himself. Oh, and it fetches quite a lot too’
6. Assassination (The Gang Bite, est. 2005)

‘There’s something thrilling about helping people with their nightmares. It’s just really exciting for someone to call frantic and desperate and then we can take care of that situation. It makes us feel like demi-gods.’
7. Bribery and Corruption (Alh. Yesuf Ahmad, 70 years old)

‘Well, if the taxpayers contribute their monies for me, who am I to say no? Plus, it’s just precedent and wisdom. Ever heard of a person in public service not give bribe or indulge in corruption? In fact, it is such the norm, that it has become a crime of corruption itself for you not to engage in corruption (improperly so called). The country will survive, don’t worry your little head about how.’