On Being Two-Faced
‘How do you survive in this heat?’ she asks me
‘Well, the same way everyone does. Not surviving’ I reply and smile
‘Must be harder for you. They only sell face caps that do one way’
‘How do you protect your two faces from the sun?’ She smiles.
In my interview with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, I enjoyed the genial atmosphere the trio created and so just after Abednego recounted their in-fire experience, I asked them who a friend is.
They all laughed and said at once, ‘A friend is a person who will fry with you till the end’
They all laughed again as I blinked at them, blank-faced.
Then Shedrach said, ‘You don’t get it? Friend – Fri-end – Fry till the end’
And they all burst into laughter again.
Yes, indeed, if that’s their idea of a funny joke then they are fried… till the end.
‘I had no idea I was such a beast until I met her’, said the beast
‘Oh, he’s being kind. I never knew I was beautiful before I met him’ said the beauty
‘Oh darling, me beside you? Feels like a Nokia phone torchlight beside the full glory of the sun’ said the beast
‘Really sugar? Don’t mind him, he’s just playing. He is the real light in my eyes and the bulb over my head’, said the beauty
‘Well’, said I who was neither a beauty nor a beast, ‘I dressed inappropriately for this wonderful volley ball match’
On Being Invisible
Me: If you could be anything, what would you be?
5 year old son: a roll of original transparent food packer.
Me: Cellophane, baby. Why?
5 year old son: So I’d be invisible
Me: Wow… honey, why do you feel like you don’t want to be seen. Is someone hurting you?
5 year old son: What? I want to hurt people and get away with it. That’s why.
‘Mama, what do they do to us once the florist takes us away’, asked baby rose
‘Well, no one really knows. But we hear that we are bound together, and sold off at a really expensive price to some smiling young man who nervously moves us from one hand to another while breathing deep hot breaths on our petals. He will stand in front of a door for an oddly long time and then wipe his palms on his trousers a couple of times. Then he will knock on the door, and cover his face with us. I hear that this is a little weird because we’re close up to his face and can see how really sweaty he is and hear how fast his heart is beating. He is usually smiling largely and nervously. Then someone would open the door and he will peep from behind us to reveal the smile he’d been hiding. She would then express whatever emotion she feels and would collect the outstretched ‘us’ from him’ said Mama Rose
‘And then what mama? What happens after then?’
‘Well, we die. But we may die in a beautiful vase of water while living on a window ledge with a nice view outside… or we may die on the body of our buyer, after the lady flogs him mercilessly with us. It really depends on why he bought us in the first place’
‘Oh mama, I want us to die in a beautiful vase and not broken all over a front porch’ cried baby rose
‘Then pray for a good man to find us baby. Pray’