I Can Tell

I saw it in his eyes again this morning. I had just gone to sign in at the HR office when my boss walked in. He greeted everyone in the office but me and when I greeted him, he barely mumbled something and kept talking to the cleaner about something random.

I knew it. I told my husband but he did not believe me. He kept laughing and saying, ‘Babe, you’re too damn paranoid’. But I am not paranoid, I’m just very observant. My boss is going to fire me. I know it.

I have worked in this office for 8 years. 8 years of my life have been dedicated to service in this company; when there was no money, and now when there is money. I have slaved for this man when his executives have come and gone and conducted business casually. I have borne the responsibility of every department in this company; marketing, HR, tech support, growth… This is so unfair.

I know what my husband will say when I tell him; he will say that I cannot predict my layoff from just a single look in my boss’s eyes. But what do I tell my husband who I only met 5 years ago? Do I tell him that I know that my boss is going to lay me off, not just because of a look, but because I know my boss more than his girlfriend knows him. Do I tell him that I probably know my boss more than I know him, my husband?

For 8 years, those eyes have looked at me and through them, I have witnessed a dozen emotions. I can tell when my boss is angry just by watching his gait when he walks; I can tell if his current girlfriend dumps him just by the way he talks at the general meeting every Friday; I can tell if he’s having a stomach upset by the way he sits and dabs at his face with his handkerchief; I can tell if he’s hungry by the way he changes subjects rapidly; I can tell if he’s happy by the kind of smile he gives; I can tell if he’s irritated by the flare of his nose; I can tell if he’s impressed by his right eyebrow; I can tell if he’s bored by the pen he’s holding…

You see, it goes on. I can even tell when he wants to fire someone by the way he replies their greeting. He feels guilty about laying people off so he has to just emotionally detaches himself from them for about a week before he does. I can tell that that’s what is going on right now. And I can tell that I won’t let it happen.

This started yesterday. So, this means that I have exactly one week to either find another job or confront my boss on why he would do this to me; his most trusted employee. Or do both.

I will document this process because I am so sure of what I’m saying… So sure.